Dare to Insult
by Ramona Bandicoot
Summary: After a simple game of truth or dare get Sly and two friends arrested in China, a simple dare to insult the over confident General Tsao could earn them freedom or something worse. -oneshot-


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Sly Cooper characters; they belong to Sucker Punch Productions.

**Claimer:** I own all of my original characters.

To be honest, this story is LONG overdue. I got the idea from Penguinator 24 who gave me the idea a while before I started writing "The Revenge of the Phantom" and I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for taking so long for writing this but I did finally write it! So, I hope you like how it turned out and if it's anything you had in mind! And please read and review and let me know what you think and again, I'm open for suggestions!

Dare to Insult

I simply rolled my eyes as the constant nagging session I was enduring continued. Not only was I getting scolded at by Bentley, but Ramona was having her say in her rant and it was all just a jumbled mess. Even though I was receiving all of their anger, I understood where they were coming from. We had decided to pass the time by playing a competitive game of truth or dare and it was fun until one of the dares got the three of us caught by local guards. It all started when Bentley and I had just finished a mission to get a new battery for the recently recovered team van when the ever curious Ramona came sneaking around the area. Since we had to wait a few hours before our operation was to take place, I had decided that it was time for a little fun. I had dared my rival thief to empty the pockets of a nearby guard, and with her pride large than the entire country of China she couldn't say no. After she successfully robbed the guard of his money and other personal belongings, things progressed from there to a classic game of truth or dare. Then things went wrong when one of the guards caught us and it was only a matter of time until half of the palace guards were onto us. So now, we were being led to the palace for either interrogation, endure being held captive, or more that likely both.

The turtle and raccoon next to me were livid and listening to them the entire time we marched to the General's palace certainly wasn't easy. General Tsao's palace was a good half of a mile from my hideout and walking the entire way there in chains was a difficult task. I sighed as their constant nagging continued and they were starting to repeat themselves. I was roughly pushed up the stairs to the palace while Bentley and Ramona weren't far behind. It was eerily quiet inside the palace and the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of our chains clanking together combined with the huffs of annoyance from Ramona and Bentley. We were led to the middle of the entrance hall before we were chained to small ring on the floor. I rolled my eyes again when their nagging continued and I groaned loudly.

"Ramona," I cut off her nagging, "will drop it? I'll figure out how to get out of here." She raised an eyebrow and I got ready for an even bigger rant.

"Don't you tell me to drop it, Cooper! You got me in this mess and you're getting me out!" her voice softened as she started muttering something in, what I could only assume was Italian, and I turned to Bentley.

"Bentley," the wheelchair bound turtle turned to me, "you have a plan to get us out of here?" he shrugged.

"I might, but I need my computer!" he exclaimed as quietly as he could. I nodded and thought. Bentley was never one for thinking on his feet in situations like this. He was one for long planning periods where I was better with fast thinking and spontaneous actions. I leaned back, somewhat on Ramona's shoulder and Bentley's wheelchair, and thought about how we could get out of this incident. I could try to pick the lock on the shackles but that would be difficult to get the ones off Bentley's wheelchair since they were completely intertwined with the ones Ramona and I were wearing. Even if I decided to go with that plan, escaping the grounds would be difficult due to the large amounts of guard surrounding the palace. Since Bentley didn't have access to his computer, there was no telling what types of alternate routes out there were so the only way out was through the front door.

"This General is absolutely loaded and the only thing the man has for entertainment is sitting around doing absolutely nothing," Ramona grumbled while blowing her bangs from her face, "I've had more fun in jail than I have here." I chucked at her comment. She was never the person to do one activity for too long before getting bored.

"We could finish our game." I suggested, already knowing both of their answers.

"No!" both voices come soon after my suggestion, "How do you think we got here in the first place?" Both thieves shot me sideways glances and I chuckled again.

"Ramona, I do believe that Bentley was the last one to go so if I'm thinking correctly, it's your turn, my dear."

"Nope," she shook her head, "You've already screwed me over with your game and you're not going to do it again." Thankfully I knew a way to get her to participate.

"I dare you to." she narrowed her eyes and huffed. She would never back down from a dare because of her pride and she knew I had caught onto it.

"Fine, but you're doing truth on my question." She smirked and I barked a laugh.

"Now wait a minute-" but she cut me off.

"This was a stupid idea that got all of us into trouble and now you have no idea on how to get us out, right?"

"I was going to say dare!" I laughed out. She raised an eyebrow in thought and nodded.

"Fine," she shrugged, "I dare you to answer my question." I heard Bentley let out a laugh. The turtle was having a time with Ramona's response.

"You just got outsmarted, Sly." I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Bentley was never fond of Ramona. He told me constantly that 'flirting with the enemy' could do nothing but hurt the gang but I was starting to get the feeling he was turning a new leaf with her.

"Shut up, Bentley," I muttered, "and fine. I'll admit I screwed up but I'll figure something out!" satisfied with her answer, Ramona nodded briefly before it was my turn to ask a truth or dare to my team member.

"Bentley, tell me something true or have a dare." He sat and thought for a moment before giving his answer.

"Truth," he said eventually, "Alright, I have no idea how we're getting out of this." Ramona and I nodded and both had the same feeling.

"Truth or dare, Ramona?" Bentley asked. Ramona thought for a minute.

"Truth, but if I tell you," she motioned to Bentley, "you can't hurt me once we get out of here." My curiosity was instantly peaked and there was no telling what she was going to say, "Do you remember that science fair project we had we were kids, and yours dealt with that hamster that suddenly disappeared?"

"…Yeah." Bentley was hesitant about his answer.

"Well, I caused that. But I didn't know it was your hamster until afterward!"

"Why didn't you just return it?" he asked and Ramona's face showed guilt.

"Well," she paused, "I couldn't get it back and I didn't know anyone that was a good jumper." He ears flattened against her skull and she looked like she was ready to be hit.

"What did you do to the hamster?" I asked with a chuckle. I still had no idea what she was going to say and with Ramona, there was no telling what would come out of her mouth.

"Well, I needed a test subject for my experiment. I wanted to see how much helium in a balloon it would take to lift a hamster. And I lost my hamster and I needed one, so when I saw yours just sitting there I took it. So I gently attached to the balloon and tied it to a chair. But I didn't tie it tight enough and the balloon and hamster kinda…floated away." She cringed again and I couldn't help but laugh at her truth.

"You tied him to a balloon!" Bentley almost screeched. She nodded and ducked behind his chair to avoid being swatted at by the flustered turtle.

"I didn't mean for him to float away!" she was laughing herself and I figured that had to be the best truth I had ever heard.

We then heard the rice paper door open and the overconfident General Tsao started to make his way into the room. He strutted his normal strut and triumphantly held his shield. He head and beak were held high and his amazingly high tail bobbed as he strutted down the stairs. After my last confrontation with guy and his refusal to give up Jing King, the Panda King's daughter, made me want to bash his head in. The man clearly had no respect towards women and didn't deserve in a million years to marry someone. I quickly glanced to Ramona, who was clearly in the defensive mode, before glancing to Bentley who was thinking of an option. I wasn't sure why Ramona was in China, but it was apparent Ramona had come into contact with the General.

"Ramona," Bentley whispered quickly, "you're good at insulting people, right?" she nodded slowly and raised an eyebrow in question, "He has temperamental issues and too much pride, if you can insult him enough he might let us go!" he harshly whispered.

"Are you crazy? We won't bee freed, we'll be executed! No!" she shook her head vigorously.

"I dare you to do it!" They bantered back and forth while my attention returned to the proud General getting closer and closer.

"Ah, we meet again, Sly Cooper," he glanced to Ramona and Bentley, "and it seems like you have brought a friend. And _her_." He glanced to Ramona with a look of disgust and Ramona met his expression.

"Not you again," she whined and gently threw her head on my shoulder.

"The ever polite Ramona Bandicoot," he sneered, "your beauty makes up for your lack in social skills."

"I could say the same to you, you know. Because when I look into your big, bold eyes," she paused briefly, "I can see through to the back of your head." He got a little flustered but she'd have to go farther for this plan to work. He returned his attention to me after shooting a glance to a smirking Ramona.

"I know what you're planning, Cooper. Jing King is mine and we will be married!"

"Is it sad that in order to marry someone you have to hold them hostage? I bet you were bullied as a child," she paused, "is that why you can't get a woman with your own self-centered, completely ignorant personality?" Ramona chimed in before I could say anything. He huffed again and started talking to me again.

"You won't save her, Cooper! Our wedding will be glorious!"

"Now I know why some people eat some of their offspring," Ramona mocked, "It's to avoid people like you being sewn into the world and allow them to spread their stupidity." he was starting to get flustered and I hoped it would only take a few more insults to make him snap.

"I don't have to put up with your mouth, Bandicoot. You, just like every other woman, is ignorant of men and I can have you exiled for my palace!"

"Is that an invitation because I would take you up on that offer." And that was the last straw that made Tsao snap.

"Guards! Get them out of here; I don't want to see them again!" as we were yanked up, I could see the General storm away. I was actually surprised that it only took a few insults from Ramona to anger him but I didn't argue. I could only assume that his plans to marry Jing King were making his stressed and the few remarks from her made him snap. Ramona had a sharp tongue and could be insulting when she wanted to be but thankfully it was rare that I was on that side. We were promptly thrown out the doors and landed on the doorstep to the palace.

"I told you we'd get out," I gave a glance to the two thieves and they simply rolled their eyes, "and if I'm thinking correctly, I do believe it's your turn, Ramona."


End file.
